Tattoos

Happy National Tattoo Day, ya'll!

In honor of National Tattoo Day, I've decided to write a post about tattoos and why people decide to get them. This post is mainly for the people who can't get past the whole 'defacing' and 'disfiguring' one's body mentality and love to judge others for their tattoos because of their personal views and opinions. This post is made to celebrate tattoos and educate the public on why people choose to get them. If you have tattoos, you might find this post relatable. If you're reading this as a tattoo skeptic, I hope this answers some of your questions!

Things to Know About Tattoos:

Tattoos are not just for criminals or degenerates.

Tattoos are in no way correlated with one's work ethic or their ability to hold a job.

People without tattoos are in no way superior to those with tattoos.

Everyone is different; just because a tattoo is 'not your style' does not mean it is a bad tattoo.

Why People Get Tattoos:
To recognize an important and shaping moment in their life.
To outwardly express who they are on the inside.
To feel more beautiful.
To honor a loved one.
To remind themselves of who they want to be and what they need to do to get there.
To remind themselves of the things they want to achieve and the inner battles they wish to conquer.
Because they f**king want to.

I get tattoos for all of the reasons listed above. Although the final product is usually what everyone is excited about, a lot of people equally enjoy the experience, or the 'pain therapy', of getting a tattoo. To me, the process of getting a tattoo is a personal, uplifting, and sometimes cathartic experience for reasons that I can't quite explain. The process of altering your appearance and adorning your body with works of art, and feeling like you've earned them after the pain you went through, gives one a better sense of who they are and a greater love for themselves. Tattoos are visual representations of the person wearing them; what they've been through, what makes them happy, what they aspire to be, and what has shaped them into the person they are today. My tattoos are parts of my body that I wasn't born with, but they were always meant to be there.

"But what if you hate them in a few years?!"
When you get a tattoo, there is always a possibility that you will regret it down the road; however, the people who are most likely to regret their tattoos are the people who are too scared to get one in the first place. It's extremely likely that a tattoo you get today may not reflect the person you are a few years from now, but they are great reminders of where you've been and how you've evolved. Tattoos are your own personal retrospective, and rather than regretting them (unless you got the tattoo while you were hammered in a basement with a friend of a friend who owned a tattoo gun), you should love and appreciate them!

"But they're ugly!"

If you're someone that finds tattoos ugly, keep it to yourself. The choices that another person makes with their body do not affect you. You were not the person paying for the tattoo or sitting in the shop for hours getting inked; therefore, your opinion is completely irrelevant. There is no need to project more negativity into the world by expressing your disapproval and voicing your unwanted opinions.

Aside from heavily tattooed men, the people who get the most backlash for their tattoos tend to be women. Those who disapprove of tattoos on women tend to feel this way because tattoos make women look 'edgier' and 'less feminine'. Cut it with the double standards! If you are accepting of tattoos on men, you should be accepting of tattoos on women. Enough with the gendered expectations!

"But they're a waste of money!"

And getting your hair and nails done every other week isn't? But spending money on things such as vaping, name-brand clothing, and cars isn't? If something makes you happy, it is not a waste of money. In fact, tattoos last a lot longer than the temporary pleasures that most people sink their money into.

"But it's a form of body modification!"

You know what else is a form of body modification? Getting your ears pierced. Dyeing your hair. Getting your boobs done. The only difference between getting tattoos and the activities I just listed is that the items listed are accepted by our society. Men may not like tattoos, but they're perfectly okay with a nice pair of boobs, real or not. This statement against getting tattoos is very hypocritical.

"But you'll never get a job!"
This is an extremely outdated and ridiculous excuse to not get a tattoo. I, personally, would never work for a company that decided whether or not I was employable based on my physical appearance, and neither should you. Whether or not one gets hired for a job should be based on their ability to execute said job, not based on what they look like. It is one's skills and personality that determine whether or not they are right for a position, not their age, gender, race, or other outwardly characteristics. Places of business are already becoming more accepting of tattoos, so hopefully this excuse will be completely obsolete within the next ten years!

"But they might age poorly!"
WE KNOW! It's what we signed up for! We're all going to be saggy and crepey and wrinkly at some point in our lives; the only difference is that some of us are going to have badass tattoos and be some of the coolest grandparents around!

That's it for National Tattoo Day! If you're tatted, I hope you found this post relatable. If you're one of the skeptics, I hope this post has given you a different perspective on tattoos and made you more accepting of those who choose to get inked.

Until next time,
Jordan x

Just Going With It

Hey, people!

I didn't post at all last month due to my freakishly busy schedule, and even though I've only missed three months out of the four and a half years I've been blogging, I still kick myself in the ass for it. You guys know that I never want to put out any content that I'm not proud of, so rather than trying to think of an irrelevant idea and set up an aesthetically pleasing background to take pictures in front of, I thought I'd just talk to you.

The Briefing

These past few months have rocked my shit. The most prominent and life-altering event that's happened recently is that I broke up with my long-term boyfriend. We had so much love for each other and he is SUCH a wonderful guy, but I wasn't getting what I needed and I wasn't a great girlfriend because of it. I saw our relationship as safe and secure instead of exciting and fulfilling. Whenever someone asks why we broke up, I tell them it was because I was 80% happy when I know I could've been happier. I wasn't completely satisfied but I had someone that was satisfied with me, so for a long time, I was okay with 80%.

The hardest part about the breakup, aside from suddenly not having anyone to kiss goodnight or wake up to in the morning, was coming to terms with the fact that my future wasn't going to look the way I thought it was going to look. We had already started to solidify our plans, spending our free time driving around and looking for sites to build our already-designed house and discussing which college semesters we were going to get married in between. I had planned on spending forever with him, so it was a big kick in the balls when my suppressed thoughts had finally struggled out of the hole I buried them in and caused us to actually part ways. It's just really hard to acknowledge that your best friend and your safety net is not who you're meant to be with.

The breakup went as well as it could've gone and we still hold each other in such high regards. Some days are harder than others, but I find comfort in knowing that it'll get easier over time and that we did the right thing for both of us. We made the right decision, but it takes time to heal. We've already grown so much since the breakup, and it's really wonderful and affirming to see how much we've flourished without the other person holding us back.

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Another crazy thing that happened this year is that I finally have friends! They're my coworkers, but still! I've been working at the same place for almost two years with almost the same group of people, but due to our recent life changes and respective shit shows, we've grown closer as a group and even hang out outside of work. One night while I was feeling quite low about life, I was sitting at home wondering who I could vent to. I decided that I didn't want to talk to anyone at that moment, but I knew that I had a wonderful group of girls to talk to when I was ready, and for the first time in my life I didn't feel lonely.
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I made a new man friend recently and things have been going well! We got off to a rocky start, simply because we didn't find our groove right away and I automatically assumed that it meant we were incompatible. I was so used to being in a long-term relationship and knowing what my partner is thinking and feeling without saying a word, and knowing each other inside and out that I forgot it took time to get there too. It's just a matter of getting to know each other and learning how we express emotions and convey our thoughts. Everyone is different! Although it can be hard to read each other at times, I can tell you with 100% certainty that he is a wonderful and amazing man.

In the time that I've been seeing this guy, I've done things that I never thought I'd do or enjoy before. I've longboarded, I've boated, I've frisbeed, I've spent days at the beach, and I've gone out at NIGHT! He has exposed me to so many new things, and in this short amount of time that we've been together, I've noticed my world expanding and my spirits being lifted. He is such a joy to be around, and I think that we bring out the best in each other. One of the greatest bonuses of this relationship is the friends he brought with him. When I met his group of friends, they welcomed me into their group with open arms and treated me like they've known me forever. I am surrounded by so much love nowadays and it makes me so content and joyful. We're even going up north on a friends' holiday next month! Rather than rushing to plan my future with this new man, I am just enjoying our time together and letting the present take us into the future. All I know is that I'm having fun right now!

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The most exciting realization I've made recently was that I haven't had an anxiety attack yet this year.  A lot of shitty things have happened and I've been in a lot of stressful situations, but I haven't let them get the best of me. I've broken down and cried multiple times, don't get me wrong, but not once did I have an anxiety attack! I'm not sure what happened to cause this newfound calmness, but I think it has something to do with the fact that I have experienced all of these hardships before. I've experienced breakups and I know how bad they hurt, and I've experienced the new and challenging phases of relationships and how it gets so much better. Along with experiencing these things, I think my anxiety has improved because I've been trying to conquer my fears rather than letting them rule me. I've been saying what's on my mind and being vulnerable and stepping out of my comfort zone and being very straightforward and honest with everyone I talk to. I am no longer letting people hurt me and I am instead removing them from my life at the first sign of disrespect or disregard.

The Lesson

I've always been a very structured person. Most of my anxiety stems from being unprepared, unorganized, or pressed for time. After planning out my entire life with someone and watching those plans fall apart and feeling completely unprepared for my future, I've learned that you can't plan a future with someone unless you are sure that you can have a pleasant present with them. You can't plan for the future thinking 'hopefully this issue will resolve itself over time' because it won't. Pay attention to the red flags and try to fix them, and if your partner isn't cooperating or taking your concerns seriously, stop planning your life with them. If you want to have a future with someone, you have to bring up even the most uncomfortable issues. A successful relationship is about brutal honesty and about fixing what needs to be fixed in order to thrive together. If they don't understand the importance of fixing these issues or making minor improvements to themselves in order to better the relationship, they're not the one for you.

I've also learned as a result of these recent life changes that an open mind is essential to growth. Just go with it! My new man came out of nowhere, and at first, I was terrified to meet his friends and do half of the things that we've done, and even talk to him in the first place. In order to broaden my horizons and move forward with my personal growth, I've put my fears aside and said 'yes' to the majority of opportunities that have come my way. I figure that it's better to try something and realize it's not for you than to never try it and spend the rest of your life wondering. So far, I've had nothing but fun and I've found a lot of people and places and activities that make me happy! I have also decided that I am going to wait until I know that myself and this new man are fully compatible and good for each other before expecting a future with him. I am going to keep an open and realistic mind this time around, and I am going to remember that the only thing that is guaranteed in my future is me. I determine my future, not others.

That's it for today's post! I hope that the two of you who read these blog posts forgive me for my absence. I love you both! Hehe.

Until next time,
Jordan x