2018

What's up, babies? Yes, I'm still alive! It's been a while since I've hopped on the blog, simply because I haven't had the damn time. This year has been SO crazy, and the lack of activity on this blog has reflected that.

The most exciting news I have for you is that I haven't had a single panic attack this year! I've had to cope with the tragic and unexpected death of my dog, recover from three (yes, THREE) breakups, and finish two semesters of college with summer classes in between. There were SO many times throughout 2018 where I usually would've had a complete mental breakdown, but I never did. I handled all of my life's worst moments like a f#%king champ. I've broken down and cried many times, but I never let my sadness or stress mutate into a panic attack. This year I showed myself unconditional love, took control over my mind and emotions, and overcame my anxiety. 2018 has been the most painful and stressful year of my life, yet I've never been happier. 

Speaking of self-love, this year I've grown and evolved into a person that is better and happier than I could've ever imagined. Over the course of this year, I grew into someone I could truly love. I started appreciating my body and recognizing my worth; I stopped letting myself get disrespected and I was brave enough to leave the comfort of my old life in pursuit of true, undeniable, explosive happiness. Even after I'd get hurt, I would continue to be vulnerable, honest, and straightforward about my feelings. I refused to let rejection, embarrassment, or uncertainty make me retreat back into the safety of my shell. This year I lived.

Through the highs and the lows of 2018, and from the many events that have taken place, I've learned a few valuable lessons that I think could save you a lot of pain and heartache in 2019. Let's get started!

The more you experience, the easier it is to let go of your past.

I feel like I've lived several lifetimes in one year. I would refer to these new periods as 'chapters', but I feel like that term refers to different periods throughout the life of the same person. I, however, feel like I became a new person every month. These new lifetimes would begin and end with the creation and termination of relationships, the discovering of new interests and passions, the time of year, and the different events that had taken place throughout it. This year I opened up my heart, my mind, and my eyes, and I became more conscious of myself and my surroundings. I was finally able to 'see clearly' without my view being obstructed by the layers of influence, inexperience, and obliviousness that had once veiled me.

The more you experience, the more you realize how you aren't even close to being who you're supposed to be. The more people you meet, the easier it is to accept that your old friends or significant others probably weren't 'the ones'. The more things you see, do, and try, the closer you are to finding your passion and your purpose, and ultimately yourself. If you stay in the same place or in the same situation where nothing ever changes, you're not going to grow because you're not being exposed to anything new. You learn and grow by going through s#!t, and if you don't go through anything, you don't progress.

I started the year off desperate to marry my high school sweetheart, ready to grow up and settle down. I was so eager to solidify future plans and lock down someone who was willing to spend the rest of their life with me that I chose safety over satisfaction. I had NO idea how much I had yet to experience until I left that comfortable place. Albert Einstein once said, "The more I learn, the more I realize how much I don't know," and that's exactly what I realized this year. There are an infinite amount of people to meet, places to go, emotions to feel, connections to make, and sparks to ignite, and you have to explore all opportunities before deciding your fate.

With extreme love comes extreme pain.

If you allow yourself to develop a strong, deep connection with someone (and potentially a reliance on them), you need to prepare yourself to feel that same intensity of love, in sadness. I'm not saying that you and your significant other will break up in 2019, but be prepared for it to hurt really f#%king bad if you do.

When you and your significant other develop a connection so strong and reliable, and envision a future so wonderful, losing them can feel like losing yourself. I had gone through breakups prior to 2018 where I thought I had lost 'the one', and the pain that it caused me was unbelievable. I don't think I've ever been as f#%ked up as I was after my first breakup, because believing that you just let your soulmate walk out of your life is one of the worst feelings in the world. However, any time I thought I had done just that, I soon realized that they weren't the one for me; at least at that point in time. Because I had experienced this extreme loss before, I prepared myself for the end of my relationships in 2018. I told myself that there was no reason to get upset over the end of a relationship when I knew deep down that it wasn't meant to be. I prohibited myself from thinking of 'what if's and mourning the loss of something that I knew had to die in order for me to live. It's sad, but it's not the end of the world like I once thought it was. I've saved myself a lot of pain this year by listening to my brain instead of my heart. 

Believe their actions, not their words.

If someone treats you like s#!t and acts like you're a burden on them, let them go. If they claim you're not a burden and that they do care about you, but they continue to treat you like s#!t, let them go. If they tell you you're wrong about assuming your low worth to them, but they end their sentence with, "But alright," or, "But believe what you want," let them go. It doesn't matter what they say, it matters what they do. The way someone treats you should be the way you interpret their feelings toward you.

The best revenge is true happiness.

I'll be the first to admit: whenever a significant other walks out of my life, I will go out of my way to make sure they know how great I'm doing without them. I will post cute pictures, romanticize my life, and try to make them regret ever letting me go. For a while, I felt like the best way to 'get back' at an ex was to show them how happy I was with someone else; maybe because I wanted them to know that I was over them, or that someone else could find me desirable. I would never get into a relationship just to make an ex jealous, but I always saw the jealousy new relationships caused as an unintended benefit.

Whenever a relationship of mine would fail and my ex would continue to be happy with their partner, it felt like they had the upper hand on me. As I began to truly love myself and stopped relying on others for happiness or stability, I realized that being single didn't give my exes the upper hand; my way of thinking did. By trying desperately to prove that I'm over an ex and that I have a long line of suitors waiting for a chance with me, I was only proving how unhappy I really was. When I finally became self-sufficient in the happiness, love, and confidence departments, I realized that not needing a significant other to be whole or happy was the best revenge of all. Being happy with yourself, by yourself, is the most liberating feeling and the best/only way to receive the closure that all of us heartbroken people crave.

That just about wraps up my year! If 2018 wasn't a great year for you, I hope it was at least somewhat educational and that you go into 2019 with an open mind and an open heart. Be ready for change, and don't be scared of it. Stop letting the fear of the unknown prevent you from stepping out of your comfort zone and creating a life you're in love with. Allow yourself to be shaped and molded by experiences, and don't resist the temporarily uncomfortable changes that the universe puts you through.

Until next time,
Jordan x

Autumnal Lookbook 2018

Hello, my beautiful autumn leaves! I'm a little behind on my autumn blog posts, but that's because I wanted to make sure that the seasonal content I'm bringing you is of the highest quality. I hope that's alright with ya'll!

My first fall-themed blog post of the year is my autumnal lookbook. As I've said many times before, fashion is not my area of expertise. During the autumn and winter months, however, my outfits feel a bit more cohesive and I feel a lot more confident. That's all that matters, right?!

Without further ado, here is some fashion inspiration for a day at the pumpkin patch or a night around the campfire!

The yellow H&M sweater has endured the test of time and lives to see another season! This bright, textured sweater is great for making a statement, especially if you're too lazy to put thought into the rest of your outfit. You could put a collared shirt on underneath for a smarter look, or pair it with black belt and boots for an edgier vibe.

You can never have enough sweaters, am I right? This khaki-green number is also from H&M (as are most of my sweaters this season), and the pinstriped jeans are from PacSun in the Vintage Icon fit. With an outfit like this with multiple textures and patterns, I would definitely stick to smooth fabrics and solid colors when it comes to any additional pieces. This sweater is more cropped than most sweaters, making it a great piece to pair with high-waisted pants, and less bulky if you wish to tuck the sweater into them.

Yes, pinstripes!

Please ignore the blurriness of this picture! This outfit is a more subtle take on seasonal fashion. I decided to go for a neutral outfit and bring the autumn through the accessories. I got this shirt for $5 at Target and I paired it with some casual, ripped jeans. The star of this show is this colorful scarf I got from a random booth at Summerfest. I felt like the combination of gold, orange, and plum make it the perfect autumnal accessory, and the muted blue ties it in wonderfully with jeans or a denim jacket. 

Look familiar?! All I did to the outfit above was lose the scarf and chuck on a colorful flannel from Vans. I tied a knot in my $5 Target shirt and kept on my Vintage Icon PacSun jeans. I absolutely LOVE this outfit. It's the most casual out of the five outfits, and it's pretty hard not to look, or feel, great in it. You could wear this to the pumpkin patch, in the apple orchard, or on a crisp, autumn hike. This outfit is practical enough for any of your autumn activities! 

Here's a better picture showcasing the colors featured in the flannel. It's kind of a cross between a rainbow and all of my favorite autumnal colors!

The final item of my autumnal lookbook is this fine number from Target! The shape and pattern of this dress is unlike anything you would find in my closet. I have no other article of clothing like this. This dress doesn't exactly scream autumn, but I feel like the deep red color along with the muted yellows and greens make it more suitable for autumn than for summer. The dark lip also helps! If you paired this dress with a (faux) black leather jacket and some chunky boots, you'd be a heartbreaker.

Although the front of the dress is pretty, my favorite feature is the open back! I couldn't get a clear picture, but you get the jist. 

That's it for this year's autumnal lookbook! I hope you guys are enjoying the autumn season and making the most out of this beautiful weather!

Until next time,

Jordan x

Everything and Nothing

Hey, everyone! It's the last day of August, which means summer is ending and the struggle of juggling a full-time education, a part-time job, and a shockingly active social life begins.

I haven't loved my life recently. I've had a lot of health issues lately, which has taken a toll on my already-strained mental health. I haven't had an anxiety attack yet this year, but this past week has truly tested my inner freakin' peace.

There was a three-day period late this month where I felt extremely lonely yet suffocated, and extremely left out yet I couldn't seem to escape my reality. You see my dilemma! I felt these ways as a result of some current life events, and although I was very happy with some of the things happening, I was very sad at the same time. Hanging out with friends helped a lot, as it'd help me to feel understood and at ease. As with most funks I get into, I wanted to talk to my friends about my inner struggles and about all of the things that were causing me anxiety and depression, but I didn't want to vocalize my negativity and 'let it out' into the world. My thoughts were moving so rapidly, it would've been virtually impossible to capture them and share them with another person anyway. I found that simply being in the presence of my favorite people helped me to calm down a bit.

Because I find it so hard to think when I'm anxious and I don't wish to put whatever negative thoughts I manage to capture into the world anyway, I tend to ask the people I reach out to if they can tell me a story. Needless to say, I've been asking for a lot of stories lately and doing everything in my power to distract myself from my own life. No need to worry though, because every day things are getting a little clearer and life is getting a little more enjoyable.

School has been another major stressor for me recently, as I know how badly I felt last semester when I failed two classes and wasted all of that money. I wish so badly not to repeat that failure again this semester, but I know how hard and stressful school is for me, and how nothing is going to be different this time around; I am simply incapable of paying attention to things that do not interest me, and I am f**ked because of it. I'm trying to go into this school year with an open mind and think about all of the hour-long lunch breaks I'll have rather than all of the school work I'll have to do. Wish me luck, ya'll!

There really is no purpose to this post aside from informing you guys on how I'm feeling and letting you know that it's okay to emotionally relapse. I felt so discouraged after this shitty week because I had been doing so well for so long. I was hoping I'd never return to the state I was in this week, but I did, and it's okay because I know now that I can get out of it and return to my new and improved, happy self. It does get better. These problems are everything to me now, but they'll be nothing to me in the future.

Here are some things that have helped me to calm my anxiety and clear my mind:

Talking to those around me about my struggles and letting them know that I might need them more than usual during this time.

Clearing up any confusion regarding the relationships I have with those around me and getting answers to questions that I've let eat me up inside.

Spending time with my dog.

Sitting outside in the morning before it gets too hot outside and breathing in the fresh air.

Making lists of the things I have to do and the thoughts I have.

Being creative; cooking, photography, working on crafty projects.

Going for drives and getting out of the house.

Listening to old songs like This Will Be (An Everlasting Love) by Natalie Cole and Beyond the Sea by Bobby Darin.

Dancing.

Eating healthy and nourishing my body.

Breaking shit. I'm not sure why, but whenever I'm feeling anxious and stressed, I get the urge to destroy things. I want to throw it, smash it, and feel it crumble in the palm of my hand. Rather than satisfying that feeling of destruction by hurting myself, I satisfied my most recent urge by putting a blanket over my door and lobbing stuff at it. I got the same satisfaction without ruining the door or anything I threw at it. It sounds scary and childish, but I truly can't help it. Maybe I'll do it outside next time!

That's it for today's post! I hope I didn't bring you down too much with my first world problems. If you currently feel the way I've been feeling recently, I hope you decide to try out some of the things I've done to get myself out of this funk. WE ARE STRONGER THAN WE THINK WE ARE!

Until next time,

Jordan x

Tattoos

Happy National Tattoo Day, ya'll!

In honor of National Tattoo Day, I've decided to write a post about tattoos and why people decide to get them. This post is mainly for the people who can't get past the whole 'defacing' and 'disfiguring' one's body mentality and love to judge others for their tattoos because of their personal views and opinions. This post is made to celebrate tattoos and educate the public on why people choose to get them. If you have tattoos, you might find this post relatable. If you're reading this as a tattoo skeptic, I hope this answers some of your questions!

Things to Know About Tattoos:

Tattoos are not just for criminals or degenerates.

Tattoos are in no way correlated with one's work ethic or their ability to hold a job.

People without tattoos are in no way superior to those with tattoos.

Everyone is different; just because a tattoo is 'not your style' does not mean it is a bad tattoo.

Why People Get Tattoos:
To recognize an important and shaping moment in their life.
To outwardly express who they are on the inside.
To feel more beautiful.
To honor a loved one.
To remind themselves of who they want to be and what they need to do to get there.
To remind themselves of the things they want to achieve and the inner battles they wish to conquer.
Because they f**king want to.

I get tattoos for all of the reasons listed above. Although the final product is usually what everyone is excited about, a lot of people equally enjoy the experience, or the 'pain therapy', of getting a tattoo. To me, the process of getting a tattoo is a personal, uplifting, and sometimes cathartic experience for reasons that I can't quite explain. The process of altering your appearance and adorning your body with works of art, and feeling like you've earned them after the pain you went through, gives one a better sense of who they are and a greater love for themselves. Tattoos are visual representations of the person wearing them; what they've been through, what makes them happy, what they aspire to be, and what has shaped them into the person they are today. My tattoos are parts of my body that I wasn't born with, but they were always meant to be there.

"But what if you hate them in a few years?!"
When you get a tattoo, there is always a possibility that you will regret it down the road; however, the people who are most likely to regret their tattoos are the people who are too scared to get one in the first place. It's extremely likely that a tattoo you get today may not reflect the person you are a few years from now, but they are great reminders of where you've been and how you've evolved. Tattoos are your own personal retrospective, and rather than regretting them (unless you got the tattoo while you were hammered in a basement with a friend of a friend who owned a tattoo gun), you should love and appreciate them!

"But they're ugly!"

If you're someone that finds tattoos ugly, keep it to yourself. The choices that another person makes with their body do not affect you. You were not the person paying for the tattoo or sitting in the shop for hours getting inked; therefore, your opinion is completely irrelevant. There is no need to project more negativity into the world by expressing your disapproval and voicing your unwanted opinions.

Aside from heavily tattooed men, the people who get the most backlash for their tattoos tend to be women. Those who disapprove of tattoos on women tend to feel this way because tattoos make women look 'edgier' and 'less feminine'. Cut it with the double standards! If you are accepting of tattoos on men, you should be accepting of tattoos on women. Enough with the gendered expectations!

"But they're a waste of money!"

And getting your hair and nails done every other week isn't? But spending money on things such as vaping, name-brand clothing, and cars isn't? If something makes you happy, it is not a waste of money. In fact, tattoos last a lot longer than the temporary pleasures that most people sink their money into.

"But it's a form of body modification!"

You know what else is a form of body modification? Getting your ears pierced. Dyeing your hair. Getting your boobs done. The only difference between getting tattoos and the activities I just listed is that the items listed are accepted by our society. Men may not like tattoos, but they're perfectly okay with a nice pair of boobs, real or not. This statement against getting tattoos is very hypocritical.

"But you'll never get a job!"
This is an extremely outdated and ridiculous excuse to not get a tattoo. I, personally, would never work for a company that decided whether or not I was employable based on my physical appearance, and neither should you. Whether or not one gets hired for a job should be based on their ability to execute said job, not based on what they look like. It is one's skills and personality that determine whether or not they are right for a position, not their age, gender, race, or other outwardly characteristics. Places of business are already becoming more accepting of tattoos, so hopefully this excuse will be completely obsolete within the next ten years!

"But they might age poorly!"
WE KNOW! It's what we signed up for! We're all going to be saggy and crepey and wrinkly at some point in our lives; the only difference is that some of us are going to have badass tattoos and be some of the coolest grandparents around!

That's it for National Tattoo Day! If you're tatted, I hope you found this post relatable. If you're one of the skeptics, I hope this post has given you a different perspective on tattoos and made you more accepting of those who choose to get inked.

Until next time,
Jordan x

Just Going With It

Hey, people!

I didn't post at all last month due to my freakishly busy schedule, and even though I've only missed three months out of the four and a half years I've been blogging, I still kick myself in the ass for it. You guys know that I never want to put out any content that I'm not proud of, so rather than trying to think of an irrelevant idea and set up an aesthetically pleasing background to take pictures in front of, I thought I'd just talk to you.

The Briefing

These past few months have rocked my shit. The most prominent and life-altering event that's happened recently is that I broke up with my long-term boyfriend. We had so much love for each other and he is SUCH a wonderful guy, but I wasn't getting what I needed and I wasn't a great girlfriend because of it. I saw our relationship as safe and secure instead of exciting and fulfilling. Whenever someone asks why we broke up, I tell them it was because I was 80% happy when I know I could've been happier. I wasn't completely satisfied but I had someone that was satisfied with me, so for a long time, I was okay with 80%.

The hardest part about the breakup, aside from suddenly not having anyone to kiss goodnight or wake up to in the morning, was coming to terms with the fact that my future wasn't going to look the way I thought it was going to look. We had already started to solidify our plans, spending our free time driving around and looking for sites to build our already-designed house and discussing which college semesters we were going to get married in between. I had planned on spending forever with him, so it was a big kick in the balls when my suppressed thoughts had finally struggled out of the hole I buried them in and caused us to actually part ways. It's just really hard to acknowledge that your best friend and your safety net is not who you're meant to be with.

The breakup went as well as it could've gone and we still hold each other in such high regards. Some days are harder than others, but I find comfort in knowing that it'll get easier over time and that we did the right thing for both of us. We made the right decision, but it takes time to heal. We've already grown so much since the breakup, and it's really wonderful and affirming to see how much we've flourished without the other person holding us back.

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Another crazy thing that happened this year is that I finally have friends! They're my coworkers, but still! I've been working at the same place for almost two years with almost the same group of people, but due to our recent life changes and respective shit shows, we've grown closer as a group and even hang out outside of work. One night while I was feeling quite low about life, I was sitting at home wondering who I could vent to. I decided that I didn't want to talk to anyone at that moment, but I knew that I had a wonderful group of girls to talk to when I was ready, and for the first time in my life I didn't feel lonely.
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I made a new man friend recently and things have been going well! We got off to a rocky start, simply because we didn't find our groove right away and I automatically assumed that it meant we were incompatible. I was so used to being in a long-term relationship and knowing what my partner is thinking and feeling without saying a word, and knowing each other inside and out that I forgot it took time to get there too. It's just a matter of getting to know each other and learning how we express emotions and convey our thoughts. Everyone is different! Although it can be hard to read each other at times, I can tell you with 100% certainty that he is a wonderful and amazing man.

In the time that I've been seeing this guy, I've done things that I never thought I'd do or enjoy before. I've longboarded, I've boated, I've frisbeed, I've spent days at the beach, and I've gone out at NIGHT! He has exposed me to so many new things, and in this short amount of time that we've been together, I've noticed my world expanding and my spirits being lifted. He is such a joy to be around, and I think that we bring out the best in each other. One of the greatest bonuses of this relationship is the friends he brought with him. When I met his group of friends, they welcomed me into their group with open arms and treated me like they've known me forever. I am surrounded by so much love nowadays and it makes me so content and joyful. We're even going up north on a friends' holiday next month! Rather than rushing to plan my future with this new man, I am just enjoying our time together and letting the present take us into the future. All I know is that I'm having fun right now!

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The most exciting realization I've made recently was that I haven't had an anxiety attack yet this year.  A lot of shitty things have happened and I've been in a lot of stressful situations, but I haven't let them get the best of me. I've broken down and cried multiple times, don't get me wrong, but not once did I have an anxiety attack! I'm not sure what happened to cause this newfound calmness, but I think it has something to do with the fact that I have experienced all of these hardships before. I've experienced breakups and I know how bad they hurt, and I've experienced the new and challenging phases of relationships and how it gets so much better. Along with experiencing these things, I think my anxiety has improved because I've been trying to conquer my fears rather than letting them rule me. I've been saying what's on my mind and being vulnerable and stepping out of my comfort zone and being very straightforward and honest with everyone I talk to. I am no longer letting people hurt me and I am instead removing them from my life at the first sign of disrespect or disregard.

The Lesson

I've always been a very structured person. Most of my anxiety stems from being unprepared, unorganized, or pressed for time. After planning out my entire life with someone and watching those plans fall apart and feeling completely unprepared for my future, I've learned that you can't plan a future with someone unless you are sure that you can have a pleasant present with them. You can't plan for the future thinking 'hopefully this issue will resolve itself over time' because it won't. Pay attention to the red flags and try to fix them, and if your partner isn't cooperating or taking your concerns seriously, stop planning your life with them. If you want to have a future with someone, you have to bring up even the most uncomfortable issues. A successful relationship is about brutal honesty and about fixing what needs to be fixed in order to thrive together. If they don't understand the importance of fixing these issues or making minor improvements to themselves in order to better the relationship, they're not the one for you.

I've also learned as a result of these recent life changes that an open mind is essential to growth. Just go with it! My new man came out of nowhere, and at first, I was terrified to meet his friends and do half of the things that we've done, and even talk to him in the first place. In order to broaden my horizons and move forward with my personal growth, I've put my fears aside and said 'yes' to the majority of opportunities that have come my way. I figure that it's better to try something and realize it's not for you than to never try it and spend the rest of your life wondering. So far, I've had nothing but fun and I've found a lot of people and places and activities that make me happy! I have also decided that I am going to wait until I know that myself and this new man are fully compatible and good for each other before expecting a future with him. I am going to keep an open and realistic mind this time around, and I am going to remember that the only thing that is guaranteed in my future is me. I determine my future, not others.

That's it for today's post! I hope that the two of you who read these blog posts forgive me for my absence. I love you both! Hehe.

Until next time,
Jordan x

How To Fake a Clean House

Cleaning isn't my favorite activity but it's something that has to be done, and if you're anything like me, you have a lot of possessions and limited space to put 'em. If you're having company over or need to clean your house fast, or simply don't have enough space for all of your crap, there is one thing you can do that will make your house look both clean and beautiful: put your junk into pretty containers.

Whether you're late on your spring cleaning or spending your summer moving into a tiny, cramped dorm room, this post is perfect for you!

Everybody has a mess that they need to contain, whether it's hair ties, bobby pins, pens, papers, or even your secret candy stash. When it comes to the vessels used to contain said messes, you could buy them fresh from the store or reuse the packaging of some of your old products. I like to reuse bottles, candle jars, tea tins, or even cardboard boxes to store my junk!

Jars

Glass jars are not only great for storing, but also for displaying.

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One of the most timeless forms of storage is the good ol' mason jar. I stupidly forgot to include a mason jar in my pictures, hence the higher quality and far more beautiful picture above. Mason jars are great for the kitchen, as they are basically destined to hold granola and tea bags. They're also great for the bathroom, as you can use them for your cotton balls and q-tips! Mason jars are great for giving your home a warm, cozy feel.

If rustic mason jars aren't your thing, another glass form of storage could be your empty candle jars. Depending on the design, candle jars can look a bit sleeker than mason jars, making them perfect for a modern apartment in the city or any type of contemporary living space. I'm currently using one of my clear candle jars to display colored pencils made of tree branches. If you'd rather use your candle jars for storage, you could use them to hold hair ties, bobby pins, or spare change! Candle jars usually come with air-tight lids, in case you have any snacks that you may wanna keep fresh.


Tins

Decorative tins are one of my favorite modes of storage!

The dollar section at Target is the best place to find cute containers, whether you're looking for candle jars, tins, or any other vessel that your little heart desires. These Target tins come in all shapes and sizes and they have the cutest patterns, making them perfect for storing virtually anything while looking pretty enough to display.

Aside from my Target tins, I am currently reusing is these beautiful tea tins from a Letterbox tea set. I absolutely love the look of these tins, and I believe that they fit my style perfectly. Seeing as these tins are more vertical than horizontal, I like to use them for long sticky things such as makeup brushes or pencils.

Boxes

If you have some bigger items that you need to tuck away, decorative boxes are the way to go. I bought these boxes from my local Michaels craft store to hold the ingredients I use to make my Lumineux by Nature products, and boy, were they a great purchase!

Decorative cardboard boxes are also wonderful for holding any papers, pictures or artifacts that you may want to keep. This Letterbox Tea Box is the box that my gorgeous tea tins came in. Although it's just your average cardboard box, I feel like the stamped logo gives it the coolest touch. It's simple yet perfect! I have two of these boxes, and I use one as a memory box and the other as my candy stash.

Well, folks, those are all of my ideas on how to hide your junk while making your house look cute! I hope this post has inspired you to get your shit together and have a clean, fabulous start to your summer!

Until next time,
Jordan x

Spring Ulta Haul and Review

Hello, you beautiful people!

A little while ago I was feeling quite down about life. I was upset about school and work, and the fact that I spend most of my time doing things I hate in order to get somewhere in life that I'm not even sure exists. I was in your average, run-of-the-mill rut. I knew this feeling was temporary and that everything I'm doing now is in order to have a better future, but in order to get myself out of this rut a little faster, I decided to treat myself!

After revamping my wardrobe and getting a new backpack and seeing how happy those refreshments made me, I decided I needed to carry it on with other aspects of my life, including my makeup. I have been using the same, shitty makeup for years. Aside from a Too Faced mascara and a Clinique foundation that I bought myself for prom two years ago, I have never allowed myself a high-end piece of makeup or skincare. Those of you who are far more into makeup than I am will probably laugh at the items I bought, but this is a step up for a frugal, money-conscious person like me! 

Without further ado, here are some of the pick-me-up goodies I bought from Ulta!

The first and least exciting item that I picked up was this dual-ended NYX eyebrow brush. I haven't had a normal-sized angled brush for two years. I lost my last angled brush on the day of prom, funnily enough! This is the second time I've purchased this brush from NYX, and compared to its more expensive alternatives, this $10 version does a decent job! The bristles of the brush are softer and slightly longer than I prefer, meaning it's not as dense or precise as a shorter, sturdier brush. It's great if you prefer a more natural brow, but I'm a big, blocky brow girl and I love my precise lines. I'm sure if you were to season this brush and cake it with eyebrow gel, it would be stronger and more precise. It's all about the products you use and the look you're going for!

The second item I picked up was the Lights, Camera, Lashes mascara by Tarte. This mascara and the Tarte brand itself are on the more attainable side of high-end makeup, but still quite expensive. I have no problem buying drugstore mascara, but I had to pick this mascara up that day due to the fact that is was only $10! For those of you who aren't familiar with this mascara, that's over 50% off. This mascara definitely gives you volume, which I need in order to match the density of my eyebrows. This mascara can be a bit clumpy, but I'd still repurchase it!

Another item I haven't bought in years is a new nail polish. All of the current nail polishes I have are dried up and very unpleasant to use, so seeing as it's finally spring, I thought I'd buy some springy colors! These are the Sally Hansen Insta-Dri nail colors, ringing up at $4.99 each. From lightest to darkest, the colors are Mauve It, Shakin' Sherbet, and Just In Wine. I believe I'll wear Mauve It predominantly in the spring, Shakin' Sherbet in the summer, and Just In Wine in the fall. Who knows, maybe I'll get a little crazy and mix it up a little! I picked these shades because I thought they would go with my yellowy skin tone and prevent my hands from looking dead.

After using the Mauve It nail polish, I have to say that I'm not very impressed. The colors are gorgeous, but my nails were chipped after 24 hours. They don't have the best staying power, but they're cheap! I feel like these polishes would be great for a photo shoot, or another situation where you'd have to rapidly change nail colors.

In the skincare department, I picked up a couple items from Clinique. For moisturizer, I bought the Dramatically Different Moisturizing Cream because it was advertised as a cult favorite. I was originally going to buy one of the Moisture Surge moisturizers, but their slightly varied names confused the hell out of me and the pressure of the influential Ulta employees was just too much! Also, this moisturizer was $12 cheaper at $27. This moisturizer is for dry combination skin, which sounds like it was made just for me!

This cream is an absolute dream to wear. It's the perfect consistency; not too heavy, but just rich enough so that you don't have to reapply it in ten minutes. My dry-skinned friends know the struggle! This moisturizer is also fragrance-free and allergy tested, making it a great option for those with sensitivities. Also, it didn't burn at all when I used the moisturizer around my eyes. Always a bonus! If you don't have dry skin but you still wanna try out this product, Clinique has two different formulations of the same moisturizer for normal and oily skin.

Although I didn't buy a Moisture Surge moisturizer, I did pick up the Moisture Surge Overnight Mask for $35. I just really wanted a Moisture Surge product, and this mask was $4 cheaper for almost two more ounces. There's that frugal side coming out! This mask is great for people of all skin types. It's thinner in consistency than the Dramatically Different Moisturizing Cream, and I could probably even wear this as a daily moisturizer in the warmer months. Just like the moisturizer, this product is fragrance-free and great for people with sensitivities, and it doesn't burn around the eyes.

This was my face the morning after using the mask. Normally in the morning I wake up with tight, dehydrated skin with visible dry patches. After using the Dramatically Different Moisturizing Cream and the Moisture Surge Overnight Mask on top of it, I was left with moisturized skin and not a single dry patch! I definitely feel like this product gave me a surge of moisture, and I am thoroughly happy with both of my Clinique purchases! Although my skin felt great at the time, I did put a thin layer of moisturizer on before going out for the day, as I knew that feeling wasn't going to last for another 24 hours. Overall, I am very impressed with this product!

The final product I got with this gorgeous eye palette from Smashbox. The whole reason I went to Ulta, besides to make myself feel better, was to pick up a warm-toned eyeshadow palette. This palette is called the Covershot: Ablaze Eye Palette, and boy is it on fire.

Look at the crazy packaging! Whoever thought of this concept is an actual genius.

This palette features three matte shades and five shimmery shades. The eyeshadows are all very warm, and most of them have a quite purpley undertone. The pigment is great when you first rub your finger on the shadow, but when you transfer the shadow onto another surface such as the back of your hand, it loses some of its intensity. When I used the shadows over an eyeshadow base, however, they were quite pigmented! I believe that using a base is the key to a vibrant eye look.

These are the names of the eyeshadows going from left to right and top to bottom.

These are the eyeshadows photographed using flash.

This is the look I created with six of the eyeshadows! To create this look, I applied Relaxed all over my eyelid as a base. I then applied Torch across my mobile eyelid as my main color. Next, I used Throwback in the crease as a transition color, as well as applying it to the lower lashline. In the crease, on top of Throwback, I used the color Nirvana. To finish off the eye look, I popped a bit of Moccasin in the inner corners to brighten them up. To fill in my eyebrows, I used the color Dark Horse. The two colors I didn't use in this look were Siesta and Delirious, as they were a bit too pinky and neutral for the look I wanted to create. They're gorgeous too though!

That's it for my spring Ulta haul! I hope you enjoyed seeing my picks, and that it gave you a little inspiration if you planned on doing a spring clear-out and shop!

I will see you next time for another spring-themed post.

Until then,

Jordan x

My New Backpack

Hey, everybody!

As part of revamping my style (see my last post), I decided that it was time for a new backpack. I decided to get a new backpack because the cross-body messenger bag I was using was killing my shoulders, and the cute bag just wasn't worth the pain. I thought that being a college student meant I would have less to carry around, but I was sorely mistaken. Literally. It was finally time that I ditch the cross-body and go for a body-friendly backpack!

Although I needed a new backpack, I didn't wanna go for just any backpack where the inner lining would rip under the weight of my books, or the magnetic snapper buttons would fall off (I usually have that problem with backpacks). I wanted a sturdy, timeless backpack with a shit ton of storage that would never fall apart on me.

While searching for backpacks I realized just how gorgeous, job-specific, and expensive they can actually get. I couldn't help but marvel at the various shapes, sizes, colorways, and storage possibilities that these modern backpacks offer! That day, I learned that backpacks aren't just receptacles to carry your junk from one place to another; they are actually the most useful and functional accessories and statement pieces that you could center your whole look around. Forget jewelry, shoes or sunglasses; bags are my accessory of choice! I'm a sucker for items that can hold other items. Plus, I love the security and comfort of having everything I could need throughout the day at the drop of a strap and the flip of a flap.

After extensive research, I finally found my backpack. I decided to go for the SwissGear 5753 Laptop Backpack in the colorway Dark Grey Heather/Black. I wasn't crazy about the backpack at first, but after reading about how much storage this sucker has, I was sold. The crazy part is, I didn't even realize how much storage it had until after I bought it. After a month of use, I think I've finally found all the secret pockets that this baby has to offer. For a while, it was like the gift that kept on giving!

The Outside

This backpack has a very unique look in my opinion. It's quite rectangular, giving it a clearly defined 'top' compared to the standard dome-shaped backpack where the sides and the top are one. Another unusual feature that the backpack has is its vertical zipper going straight up the middle. I've never seen a vertical zipper incorporated into the design of a backpack, but I'm a big fan! The final unusual feature that I dig about the appearance of this bag is the front flap cut-out, which you will see later on. The front flap covers the entire top of the backpack and takes up a decent portion of the front, allowing for a wider opening.

On the sides of the backpack, there are two decent-sized protruding pockets. On one side I keep my snacks, and on the other side, I keep my toiletries. My snack pocket currently stores five snack bars, an orange, and some cookies, and my toiletry pocket stores a hand cream, a nail file, a lip balm, a travel-sized deodorant, a hairbrush, and some tampons with loads of room to spare!

The backpack also has a 'multi-compartment organizer panel' in the front (the vertical zipper) to prevent your smaller items from getting lost in the actual backpack section of the backpack. In this panel, you could fit your phone, your pens, and even your passport if you decide to take the backpack traveling. I like to keep my headphones in the mesh sling to prevent tangling.

Right in front of the handle up top, there is a secret pocket (one of the three that I didn't know about for weeks) that is as wide and as deep as the opening flap. This pocket is so big that I feel like I need to put something in it because it'd be a waste not to. In this pocket, you could fit several CDs, more snacks, or your wires if you were actually using it as a laptop bag. The possibilities are overwhelmingly endless.

Even the straps have storage! There is a zipper pocket for your cards on one strap and a mesh sling to hold your phone on the other.

Hidden right behind the left side pocket is another pocket I didn't know about for weeks! This pocket is just big enough for your cards or a small notebook.

Also hidden on the back of the bag, there is a 'built-in add-a-bag panel' for you to easily slip the backpack over the handle of a suitcase. I guess it's useful if you don't wanna wear the backpack on your back for some reason!

The padded straps and back panel make this backpack extremely comfortable to wear. No shoulder, neck, or back pain whatsoever!

The Inside

credit

I had to steal this image from the SwissGear website because it's just better. This picture also better displays the wide front flap cut-out I was telling you about! On the inside of the backpack, there are two cushioned sleeves designed to hold a 15" laptop and a tablet. The 'belly' of the bag, as it's called on the SwissGear website, offers a decent amount of storage for your books and notebooks. If I had to guess, I'd say you could fit three textbooks of shmedium thickness in there. Also inside the belly of the bag, on the opposite side from the laptop sleeves, there is a big mesh pocket designated for adaptors if you plan to use this backpack for its actual use. I, however, use it as my Cheetos pocket. The inner lining of the backpack features a grey-and-white diagonally striped pattern, which I think is just lovely. The lining seems strong and durable, so hopefully there will be no tearing!

The backpack cost $55 on the SwissGear website, along with $5 for shipping. Although this is two times more than the usual $30 I'd spend on a bag, I feel that a quality item like this is worth the investment. I am confident that I will use this bag for years to come.

That's it for today's post! I hope this review has opened your eyes to the vast and wonderful world of backpacks. If your shoes, jewelry, and other accessories are supposed to make you happy, your backpack should too!

Until next time,
Jordan x